Faceday: Ravenclaw Makeup Tutorial featuring a Navy Lip

Oh well hello there Lyfers. It’s me. Buttnana. I was feeling especially inspired by last week’s Faceday and decided to hard for it again this week. But remember how last week we ended up with Gryffindor-y lips? What if we chased that concept and did a whole look based on a Harry Potter house? What if this look was actually wearable out of the house?

Welcome to the Ravenclaw tutorial.

Lay it on Me, Buttnana.
Done and done. While I really committed to the navy theme of this outfit, you are more than welcome to pair this look with a really soft blouse or a pastel dress to make it extra edgy.

  1. Apply your foundation and brows as you would normally. I was feeling a stronger brow for this look so I drew them in a little fuller along the bottom. I also did not contour my cheeks or forehead today.
  2. I did, however, contour the shit out of my nose because Ravenclaw’s mascot is a bird. And what to birds have? Beaks. To do this, I used a technique I outlined in this post with an angled circular brush and a matte eyeshadow because my complexion is way cooler (lol @ my own pun) than most contour shades allow for. The only difference is that I went HARD with it. If you do this at home, a good litmus test is to contour enough, and then apply that same amount again until you’re borderline horrified with what you’ve just done to your face. Peep this monstrosity:
  3. Don’t panic. I know I look weird and friendless. Luckily for me, because this eyeshadow likes my skin I didn’t have to work super hard to blend it out with the pointy end of a beauty blender. My result ended up looking like this:
    See how cool my beak looks? I love a strong nose.
  4. This is an optional step, but I applied blush to the outsides of my cheeks using a brush I normally use to highlight without cleaning it (#gross). Voila, highlighting blush (#genius). I also applied finishing powder, being careful to not dull my beak contours by dragging the powder everywhere. I always highlight last so you can see me from space when I go outside.
  5. Okay, now we’re going to focus on the eyes. I used this impressive palette called Aubergine Dream from H&M for this look. Here’s what it looks like if you want to dupe it:palette
  6. – After you’ve primed your eyes, I tapped the bottom-left shadow all over the lid and up into the crease.
    – Then, I dipped into the top-right shade with a round blending brush and blended it into my crease.
    – After that was done, I used a different soft blending brush and the top-center shade to soften the crease toward my brows.
    – Right under the outer halves of my brows, I tapped in the top-left shade and blended that in with my transition color brush. And it looked cute.

    – So I found a really frosty silver shadow (I used one I got in a Birchbox but any silver shadow will do), loaded up the tip of my ring finger with it, and tapped it right in the center of my lids, blending the sides out a wee bit on both sides.


  7. I didn’t want my eyes to distract from what I’m about to do to my lips so I used a very light coat of volumizing mascara.
  8. Lastly, I highlighted the tops of my cheekbones to high heaven with a white shimmery highlighter.

What Are You Doing to Your Lips!?
I’m wearing navy lipstick, that’s what. And we are in an excellent era for that because MaybellineMAC and ColourPop at the very least are all doing a navy lip right now. Kat Von D is doing it twice. I went with Kat Von D’s Echo.

Yes you can.

No no. You can. Just commit to it. What’s someone going to do? Tell you that you look bad? You’re going to look like you end other people’s marriages for fun. I’d be surprised if anyone even makes prolonged eye contact with you in this. Trust me. No one is going to fuck with you.

Okay so Now that You’re Up to Speed
Hey. Nice lips. 🙂

Because this look reaches new levels of Ravenclaw excellence when you use your frosty silver shadow in the center of your lips. I did this just how we did it last week, with the tap-drag technique. Word from the wise: if your lipstick is a liquid matte (like mine) wait for it to dry before doing this. Then the silver sits on top of the navy and gives it an extra layer of dimension.


Ten points to Ravenclaw. *cries*

I paired this look with this in credible sweater from H&M and a custom piece of jewelry from this magical unicorn of a woman because I was just in her wedding. She has a blog here, too, and you should totally check her out. She’s the flower to my grommet.


I Am Ready to Slay, Buttnana
I know you are. I’m so proud. Go forth, my pretty. Bring honor to your other Ravenclaws.

Do you want me to do all four Harry Potter looks? Because I totally can. Just saying. Let me know in the comments!

I’m off to blow the bell curve on an exam and steal literally everyone else’s significant other.




Wokesday: It’s Going to be Okay.


It’s really, really important that you remain calm.

Now is the time that we need to advocate on behalf of others.

If you are white, you need to advocate for people of color.
If you are a man, you need to advocate for women.
If you are straight, you need to advocate for those who aren’t.
If you are cis, you need to advocate for trans.
If you are able-bodied and neurotypical, then you need to advocate for people who are not.
Advocate for veterans.
Advocate for the elderly.
Advocate for children in the foster system.
Advocate for yourself.

This is deeply, deeply disappointing. But this has not occurred in a vacuum.

We have to make this matter. We have to.

Please, please remember that we still exist, and there are still people who love you.

Fuck, if you have no one else, I’ll do it. I love you.

In the words of a dear friend of mine: We are going to make this okay.

I love you all,

Faceday: Brick, Navy, Gold

Hello hello Lyfers. This is officially the first ever Hawaiian Faceday brought to you by yours truly. Let’s fuckin’ DO it.


The Inspiration
1. This shirt. Ugh. It’s so cute and feminine and comfy without making me feel like a child.
2. My residual salt at an interaction I had right before Halloween in which someone told me they hated my haircut because it makes me look like a boy. Um. Not a boy. Queer? Yes. Kind of masculine? Yes. Not actually a dude. Rude ass. So, because I’m petty above all else it’s time to cry about it get effin’ feminine.

Yeah But How Did You DO it, Buttnana
DON’T WORRY FAM. I got choo. This look is really easy and doubles for a look book page from the Urban Decay Smoky Palette, which looks like this in case you have dupes:


  1. Do your foundation and brows as you usually would. Because I wanted to look extra chiseled today, I contoured a bit more than normal and applied blush to the outsides of my cheeks rather than the apples. I also contoured along my jaw today because if someone’s going to say I look like a boy then I am at least going to be a handsome one.
  2. Once your face is done how you like, note the palette above. Of course, you can do this however else you’d like to get the neutral/gold look I went for here.
    – I patted High (far left) all over my lid with my fingertip.
    – I then used a crease brush (mine is rectangular but you can use which ever one tickles your pickle) and swept Dirtysweet (second from the left) along the crease and a wee bit past the outer corners of my eyes.
    – Then, I used the fluffy side of the brush that came with the palette (pictured) and blended Dirtysweet toward my brows with Combust (second from the right).
    – After that, I swept Thirteen just beneath the outside halves of my brows, flicking off the excess powder with the fluffy brush and blending toward Dirtysweet. This creates a subtle transition effect with lots of dimension. Now we’re going to use a trick from our Lord and Savior Tati and amp up the depth.
    – Using the short side of the included brush, dab it in Radar (third from the left) and blend it into your crease on the outside 1/3 of your eyes. If it strikes you, you can also flick the brush toward the center of your lid to darken the very outside corners of your eyes. You can use the same short brush to blend it with Dirtysweet to avoid any harsh lines or you can go back in with Dirtysweet and soften anything that needs softening. The point is to cheat dimension where there previously may not have been much.
    – Line your upper and lower lids with navy liner. I used some REAL old kohl liner from Wet&Wild but you can totally use Dagger (sixth from the left) and a liner brush if you’re going for an even softer look. After all that business is done my eyes looked like this:

img_5921Lol @ the dog hair on my nose.

Now that your upper lids are done, let’s smoke out the lower lids.
– Grab a liner brush (I personally like the precision I get from a flat liner brush for this) and load it up with Dagger. Tap off the excess to avoid fallout like the unwelcome guest it is. Dab it on your lower lash line. Dragging it might be faster, but it might, again, cause fallout. Don’t panic at the harsh lines, we’re not leaving it like that.
– Load up a little more Dirtysweet on your Dirtysweet blending brush and smoke out your lower lash line. It will most likely take a minute to blend the two colors together because Dagger isn’t fucking around.
-With the short end of your included brush, dab it gently in Whiskey (third from the right) and smudge it on the outside 1/3 of your lower lashline. A little goes a long way here.
– Clean up the edges with your Combust brush but don’t load any more product on it. Use the residual powder to soften any Dirtysweet edges there may be. My eyes looked like this:


Now, add your favorite mascara and brick lipstick. If your lipstick is matte I would suggest dotting some lip balm in the center of your lips. This way, it’ll stick when you dip your finger into Dirtysweet and dab-blend it into the center of your lips. You can do as little or as much as you like. I ended up with this Gryffindor-looking ombre:

img_5927Not pictured: any bad hombres

I amped this look up even more with a special septum ring, a stacking ring (because that trend has found a safe home with me forever), black diamond earrings The Merman got me for Valentine’s Day, and a whole lot of attitude. Because crying on the inside is easier when you don’t want to fuck up your makeup.


What are your favorite shirt-inspired looks? Let’s geek about them in the comments. 😀 😀

I’m off to try and warm up somewhere. They weren’t kidding when they said this was a cold shoulder blouse.

Stay classy (or not, I don’t know your life),

Oh, Manday: I’m Back! And I Have Something to Tell You.

Hey Lyfers! It has been a MINUTE, hasn’t it? Where the hell did I go? I moved in with The Merman! I put my goods in a suitcase, I got on a plane with my dogs, and I moved to Hawai’i to be with the love of my life. *gag*

So while I do apologize for leaving y’all hanging, I am pleased to report that by scaling down and focusing on one thing at a time, I kept my mental state mostly intact and only cried a handful of times. Because I cultivate my need to cry like other people cultivate a garden.

That being said. I have something to tell you.

Oh Christ
I chose today to tell you because this is a very important day for me. Because it’s a very important day for my people. Because I had some truly, truly beautiful support from one of my very best friends and it inspired me. Because if Harry Potter didn’t have to live in a closet, then neither should I.

I’m a witch, guys. I am a full blown, altar-having, religious-study-doing, Hail-The-Four-Guardians, As-Above,-So-Below Solitary witch. I follow The Craft.

This is my coming out story.

So Here’s What Happened
Both of my parents are ex-Catholics. I was never brought up religious. We celebrated all the major American holidays, but the only time we ever went to Church was if someone was getting married or if someone died.  So I was basically a totally free-agent.

When I was eleven, I was shopping around at the local Borders (RIP) and I ran across this book. And I just…I needed it. It felt right, you know? Like when you see a shirt on the mannequin and you know that’s your new favorite shirt even though you don’t look like the mannequin. It was my authentic Coach handbag at the Goodwill.

So I bought it and promptly gave both of my parents a heart attack. I’m still grateful for the parent chapter at the beginning. I think had that not been there they both would have done their patented “I’m just not going to say anything until my stony silence stops whatever this is,” until I hid it away in shame forever. But they didn’t. They read it, nodded in silence, and let me read.

And I read that book. Cover to cover. Twice.

And I bought more books by the same author. I was thrilled that they were study books. I could take notes and follow along! I could learn! I could explore my spirituality and become one of those wonderful, kind, knowing witch ladies with all the amazing herbs and calming presences. I wanted that so bad. I worked my ass of for it, too. I didn’t even care that a couple of classmates bullied the ever-loving shit out of me while I was working at school.

Then…I wanted to practice. I wanted my knowledge to become real.

I promptly ran out of any and all support once I wanted my actual life to be different. Once I wanted privacy once a month to call down the moon. Once I stopped answering the door while I was crafting.

Looking back, I think my family was just freaked out I was asking for personal, uninterrupted private time when I was twelve. Because Goddess forbid I masturbate in the privacy of my own room. #sexism

I’d like to tell you all that I gave the system the big ol’ finger and did it anyway…but once a classmate came over when I was around fifteen, saw my altar sitting quietly in the North corner of my room, and totally destroyed it…I was done. I’m not bulletproof. That really hurt me. My protestations fell on deaf ears as he poured my blessed salt everywhere. He threw it at me, at my other friends. He totally fucking defiled my sacred space.

So I did what any disenfranchised person does: I hid in the closet.

For nine years.

Nine YEARS?!
Yeah. I was tired of people seeing my books and telling me I worshipped a devil I don’t believe in. I was tired of sidelong glances and family members being “worried” about me because I was copying and studying. I was REALLY god damn tired of people laughing at me like I was going through a rebellious phase. Like I just wanted to freak people out. I as the most tired of becoming a fetish object for the boys I dated in high school because, turns out, most of them just wanted to save me.

I didn’t. I just wanted to have my faith. I wanted to come to terms with the fact that I am going to die one day. That shit seems REAL meaningless to me most of the time. I just wanted meaning. I found meaning in the Earth. Worshipping the Earth didn’t hurt anyone.

Apparently…that was the worst thing I could have done.

I got tired of fighting.

Wouldn’t you?

I practiced in secret. I had no altar in college. I had one bumper sticker that said “Pagans make better lovers” and my first roommate’s brother called me a freak. Don’t really know why that was necessary. But it was, I guess.

The guy I dated after college was a pretty staunch atheist and he only had to look down his nose at me once for me to know “can I set up my altar in the guest bedroom?” was not an okay question to ask.

I saw my holidays come and go almost one hundred times. Wiccans are a very celebratory people. And I stayed quiet. It would have broken my heart had I not been so afraid people would find out.

But I never stopped believing.

So What Changed, Buttnana?
That guy moved out. I was alone for the first time ever. My house had a beautiful window facing North. That’s important for us. So I set up my altar there. And I started slowly studying again, like a scared animal who wants to trust the kind stranger with the outstretched hand.

I finished grad school. Once school was over I was free to really embrace my witchy side.

I cultivated amazing girlfriends. Women together are magical. We’re not a Coven, not by any means. But we love each other and that only strengthens me when I feel weak.

I caught The Merman reading one of my books. My religious books. And he looked genuinely interested. I watched his Prince Williamesque face hover over the pages and I thought, finally, “I’m not going to have to hide from him.” I teared up.

I am much stronger now. I’ve been through a lot since I was fifteen and mortified. I DARE that guy to come into my house.

But mostly…what changed is that I don’t want anyone else to live 80% of their life.

Bye-Bye Broom Closet!
So there you have it.
I’m a witch. But enough about me.

Today is Samhain! Remember and honor your dead. They miss you, too. ❤

Love you always,

P.S. We still dress up. I was a doily.